We were doing a little bit of filming last night..
which was a family event. I was surprised at how competitive, and willing
the little people and a few big people were with such a notion going on.
It was really great. I realized that I think that the desire to
shine, share and entertain, if unscathed is really there at birth and will grow
if given proper light, stage and opportunity. So I guess we are born that
way.
This brought me full circle back to an original
work I did of Lady Gaga, or Stephanie Geramatta. I really was visually
excited with the somewhat simple image of her face for the "Born this
Way", album. Hair that looked like smoke almost... ethereal.
My mind went all sorts of places, and I thought about how amazing,
talented and beautiful she is. I thought about all her amazing costumes
and the many hands of artistry that make up such an amazing creation of the
production of her.. and as she sings.. "I was born this way..".
I thought ...golly, I know she has worn a dress of meat..and I can't
imagine did that smell, or feel cold, slimy..? Who sewed that? Does a
meat dress need to be refrigerated? Is it like beef jerky? Can you serge
a cut of meat? Is there a possibility of bacterial contamination?
Looking once again at the album cover, I thought she kind of looks like a
gorgeous "Medusa", the snake god or whatever from the "Clash of
the Titans". Medusa with hair of snakes though, wasn't born that
way... at least not according to the story I know which is mostly based on the
1970-something movie.. maybe 80's I don't know. Never the less... I
wondered why Lady Gaga hasn't worn a headdress of snakes yet. I thought I
would like to just go ahead and paint it. Only make the snakes somewhat
happy.. because I like happy things.
Once well into this painting which takes time, a
person had asked me while picking up my little lady from preschool if I had any
more little people.. I said yes, and started doing inventory. The lady
looked at me all wide eyed.. and said "WOW... that is amazing.. ",
.....and "... how do you do it.. it must be chaos!!!??" ... I thought
about what she said. I wasn't sure what to say, that happens alot.
So I said.." Well, I suppose it is chaos.. but I think after you
have a 3rd, it can be chaotic.. and really what is the plural of
chaos???". "Chaos + Chaos...= .... what's the difference... the
equation doesn't matter at that point.
I went back to my Lady Gaga painting. My
screens gave me WICKED issues... which I am sure comes down to some sort of
magical user problem.. never the less... my own challenges. What is a
challenge, or a problem? It is nothing more than an opportunity... so
I pounded out my ink onto lovely BFK Rives French paper. One at a
time I registered every single one differently.. much like the noise and
activity around me.. the "chaos", that I wouldn't feel comfortable if
it wasn't. I finished my Gaga... and looked down at my work. I
didn't like it. I didn't understand why I would have worked so hard ...
on an image I just wasn't thrilled with.. why didn't I just stop? I guess
I was just born this way. Nah, I know I was. Quite certain..(and
that is something to celebrate)
Gaga Chaos is now one of my favorite works.
From frustration scanning my drawing into Photoshop, to redrawing it at
least 4 times, to torn screens, to bad photo emulsion, too pleased initial
pulls of ink, to disgust of 4th pulls of ink, to tranquil quiet moments in the
gallery at Rancho Linda Vista looking at her all framed and deciding, I wasn't
sure why I was ever unhappy with the painting, Gaga Chaos, is a full journey
for me. I really like it.
As I went through my collection trying to choose
something for the Children Institute for donation, I knew what work I wanted to
see there at the London on the rooftop in West Hollywood. Chaos + Chaos =
whatever you decide ... and you can always change your mind. That is why
it is the ever "Big of it all :-) "